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When I was 17, I worked after school at an Esprit clothing
store in Montreal. It was a pleasant job, mostly involving folding cotton garments
into little squares so sharp their corners could have taken your eye out. But
for some reason, corporate headquarters didn't consider our T-shirt origami
to be sufficiently profitable. One day, our calm world was turned upside down
by a regional supervisor who swooped in to indoctrinate us in the culture of
the Esprit brand - and increase our productivity in the process.
"Esprit," she told us, "is like a good friend." I was sceptical,
and I let it be known. Sceptical, I quickly learned, is not considered an asset
in the low-wage service sector. Two weeks later, the supervisor fired me for
being in possession of that most loathed workplace character trait: "bad
attitude".
I guess that was one of my first lessons in why large multinational corporations
are not "like a good friend", since good friends, while they may do
many horrible and hurtful things, rarely fire you.
So I was interested when, earlier this month, advertising agency TBWA Chiat-Day
rolled out the new "brand identity" for the North American retail
giant Shoppers Drugmart. (Rebranding launches are, in corporate terms, like
being born again). It turns out that the chain is no longer "everything
you want in a drugstore", ie a place where you can buy things you need
- but is now a "caring friend". This is a caring friend which takes
earthly form in a chain of 800 drugstores, with a $22m ad budget burning a hole
in its pocket.
Shoppers' new slogan is "take care of yourself", selected, according
to campaign creator Pat Pirisi because it "echo[es] what a caring friend
would say". Get ready for it to be said thousands of times a day by young
cashiers as they hand you plastic bags filled with razors, dental floss and
diet pills. "We believe this is a position Shoppers can own," Mr Pirisi
explains.
Leaving aside the somewhat unsettling idea of "owning" friendship,
asking clerks to adopt this particular phrase as their mantra seems a bit heartless
in this age of casual, insecure, underpaid McLabour. Service sector workers
are so often told to take care of themselves - since no one, least of all their
mega-employers, is going to take care of them. Yet it's one of the ironies of
our branded age that, as corporations become more remote by cutting lasting
ties with us as their employees, they are increasingly sidling up to us as consumers,
whispering sweet nothings about friendship and community.
It's not just Shoppers: Wal-Mart ads tell stories about clerks who, in a pinch,
lend customers their own personal wedding gowns and Saturn's ads are populated
by car dealers who offer counselling when customers lose their jobs. You see,
according to the new marketing book, Values Added, modern marketers have to
"make your brand a cause and your cause a brand".
Maybe I still have a bad attitude, but this collective corporate hug feels about
as empty today as it did when I was an about-to-be-unemployed sweater folder.
Particularly when you stop to consider the cause of all this mass-produced warmth.
Explaining Shoppers' new brand identity to Canada's Financial Post, Mr Pirisi
said that, "in an age when people are becoming more and more distrustful
of corporations - the World Trade Organisation protests will attest to that
- and at a time when the health care system isn't what it used to be, we realised
we had to send consumers a message about partnership."
Ever since large corporations like Nike, Shell and Monsanto began facing increased
scrutiny from civil society - mostly for putting short-term profits far ahead
of environmental responsibility and job security - an industry has ballooned
to help these companies respond. It seems clear, however, that many in the corporate
world remain convinced that all they have is a "messaging problem,"
one that can be neatly solved by settling on the right, socially minded brand
identity.
It turns out that that's the last thing they need. British Petroleum found this
out the hard way when it was forced to distance itself from its own outrageous
rebranding campaign, Beyond Petroleum. The oil company's own European consumers
told BP that it had better change its business practices before its brand identity.
As evidence of the state of corporate confusion, I am frequently asked to give
presentations to individual corporations. Fearing that my words will end up
in some gooey ad campaign, I always refuse. But this advice I can offer without
reservation: nothing will change until corporations realise that they don't
have a communications problem. They have a reality problem.